This month, so far, has been a little rough. I have had friends who have recently lost loved ones and now I can be added to that list. Yesterday morning, my Grandpa Roy passed away not even a week after finding out he had liver cancer and only a day after being put on hospice care because there was nothing they could do to treat it since it was so advanced. I spoke with my Grandma Gloria last night and she said that it’s better he went now, that he didn’t have to go through more pain as the cancer worsened, and that he went peacefully in his sleep. She said that he loved us very much and I could tell over the phone that she’s really hurting. I had cried when I first found out (I was at work and decided to leave early) and I cried again talking to her on the phone. I wished I could come through the phone and hug her and somehow make her pain go away. She lives out in California and this makes it so much more difficult to deal with since we can’t just be there with her.
My family is a little complicated – I have four sets of grandparents on each side as both my mom’s and dad’s parents are divorced. Grandpa Roy was not a blood relative, but I have known him my whole life as they married before I was born. This is my mom’s mom and she’s an only child. My Grandma said she didn’t want us coming out now since there won’t be a funeral and she’d rather have us come out in the summer like we’d planned so that we can spend more time with her under better circumstances. My mom and sister are going out there for a week to be with her during this difficult time. They’re leaving tomorrow. I wish I could be there, too, but I can’t afford the flight. Grandpa Roy’s daughter-in-law was kind enough to pay for the flight out there for my mom and sister because she felt that Grandma Gloria really needs her (my mom) right now. They want to do this without her knowing, sort of as their gift to her during this difficult time. I can’t even express how fantastic what they’re doing is.
Since I can’t be there, I want to do something for her. In times like this, a knitter knit’s something. Last night I knew that I needed to knit something for her. This morning I searched patterns and decided on this shawl. I want it to be a big hug to her from me since I can’t be there to do it myself and I know she will need something to wrap herself in love during the coming weeks and months. Normally, I wouldn’t make something out of wool or a wool blend for her since she lives in Desert Hot Springs in California, but she gets cold a lot. Today I will go by the yarn store and pick out the perfect soft, warm, comforting yarn and knit up this shawl for her. It’s the very least I can do and hope that it brings her a little bit of comfort.